Blow Out the Candles

Before the phone rings and my parents cackle-sing “Happy Birthday” into my ear then ask me what kind of cake or pastry I want for my birthday dessert, I wish to address our dear leader and make some birthday wishes of my own.

Dear leader,

It is an honor and privilege to turn another year older under your noble reign. May you transfer so much wealth from the poor to the rich that Putin needs to build more Russian banks to hold all the money. May the sick without healthcare not die on the sidewalks in front of your towers. May Mar-a-Lago always rise above sea level. May you detain and deport many Mexican rapists. May facts remain as elusive as your tax returns. May you find the 3 million people who voted illegally. May your faithful followers, especially the Sean Calamity Shamity asslickers, forever defend your cons, lies, vulgarity, indecency, bullying, and cruelty while whining about how victimized they are by liberals. May they always believe fake news and never wake up to the truth. May your every tee shot be a hole-in-one.

And most of all, when your time comes, may God show you more mercy and grace than you did for his children.

The phone’s ringing.

So, dear leader, as you blow out the candles on the planet, let us eat cannoli cake.

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Tone Deaf

Guns suck. People suck worse.

There something mentally unstable with people who worship guns. But okay, I suppose everyone’s got a fetish. If guns are your thing, have it at. But don’t act surprised when someone uses your fetish to murder innocent people.

To be clear: the madman who took aim at Republicans on a baseball field was pure evil. Plain and simple. And if he hadn’t been killed, he deserved to die. (I’m not a knee-jerk bleeding heart against the death penalty. That said, any potential death penalty case should be clear cut with irrefutable, iron-clad evidence, such as with this madman in Alexandria. Innocent people have been put to death. See, contrary to radical right-wing popular belief, liberals are not monolithic. Link provided so you can look it up.)

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We Are Not Enemies

Dear conservative friends and family,

I am not your enemy. And you are not my enemy. But you’d never know that from the information you receive. I have tuned into Fox. I have read Breitbart. The overwhelming message they send is that I, your friend and loved one, should be despised, ridiculed, and, yes, some even say eradicated.

Think about that.

No, really, think about it.

Turn off the TV or radio and get quiet with that thought.

Is your happiness really dependent upon my demise?

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The Dehumanization Begins

Eric Trump is an entitled douchebag who has no idea he’s talking about himself.

Last night on Sean Calamity Shamity’s propaganda of lies show on the sly-as-a-fox “news” channel, he said Democrats in Washington are not even people. This is a blatant attempt to dehumanize and eventually make it easier to rationalize violence, or worse, extermination. We’ve been here before and we cannot allow corrosive hate like this to go unchallenged.

What he said is not only vile and disgusting, it is dangerous. It sends a signal to the brainwashed—or as I like to call them asswashed for having their heads so far up Sean Shamity’s rectum—and mind-controlled flock that violence against your adversary is justified, because after all, they aren’t human. His comment needs to be vehemently denounced by all decent human beings. Especially Republicans. Hello? Are there any decent ones still out there?

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This is My Hometown

Thank you Mayor John Birkner Jr. and the Westwood Borough Council for hanging the pride flag on the borough hall. Reading about the flag raising at njersy.co/westwoodrainbow made me quite emotional. As a kid, I would have never imagined my mostly conservative hometown being so welcoming and inclusive to celebrate gay pride month. Of course back then I had no idea what gay pride was and the rainbow flag—what’s that?

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